We're Done

How many times have I answered people's unasked question about how many children we were going to have with, "I think we're done." Actually, sometimes they did ask. Regardless, my answer was always somewhat apologetic. After our first 4 children, who came into the world in a slightly intense period of less than 6 years, I felt like we were done. Two girls, two boys, even number, fits neatly in a minivan. I knew I would always bear a sadness in my heart at the thought of not being pregnant again, not having a baby in the house again, but life is that way sometimes. There's an end to everything.

Then God started to work on that sad heart of mine. Truth be told, He'd been working on it since Dennis & I had gotten married. I had never been completely convinced that it was my job (or my husband's) to decide how many children we should have, but the world  we lived in (even the Christian world) didn't agree with me. Being a first-born people pleaser, I admit that I succumbed to the world's standard. However, after a couple of years God softened our hearts toward orphaned children and we decided we wanted to adopt. What a blessing! What a joy! Two more precious boys! We knew now that it didn't matter how large our family was, we would adopt until our house began to burst at the seems, or until we were too old. Whichever came first. Of course, we really couldn't adopt if I was pregnant or had a new baby, and since the need is so great, we would just grow our family through adoption. After all, God had blessed us with four wonderful children by birth, and now we couldn't wait to be blessed with more children by adoption. We'd had our turn having children the "biological" way, and I was almost 40 anyway. People roll their eyes at women who don't stop getting pregnant. They refer to people like that as puppy factories, and the like. They throw out statistics about over-populating the earth and talk about you behind your back. They over-scrutinize everything about your family, looking for dirt on your kids' faces and evidence of hand-me-downs. Oh, God, are you asking us to be one of those families? The Christians don't even approve... 

God is so patient with us, isn't He? Whose am I, anyway? Do I belong to the world? Was I not created by the Creator? Who has got it right, Him or them? In 101 ways God showed us the beauty of His plan, reminding us that if we commit ourselves to His way, He will make all things beautiful in His time. So in faith we have placed the size of our family in His wise hands, wishing we had done this from the beginning. To many people's surprise, and our joy, He brought us a treasured new baby last May. Certainly people rejoiced with us, but some assumed he was an "oops," several wondered if our timing was right and if we could handle another one, and certainly this was the last one, right? Only God knows. But we hope there will be many more, both by birth and adoption. We will not bring people's opinions with us into eternity, but our children, His children, will live forever.

Here Am I, Send Me

My first post... I've been sitting on this blog spot for quite a while because the "burn" God had put in my heart to do this had been nearly quenched by my many inadequacies. Maybe you have these inner conversations on occassion, "What are you doing? You don't even have your life straightened out yet. Do you mistakenly believe that you have ANYTHING to offer anyone else?" These not-so-friendly conversations go on, sometimes for quite a while. But that battle for the mind is fought with the Sword of the Spirit, the Truth of God's Word. His Word says that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. It says that we are to encourage one another and build one another up. Knowing those two things, I post. So, here I am Lord! Send me!